A Horse

I rarely post three times in one day but I’m feeling inspired.

I love horses, I’ve always loved them and I’m very comfortable with them. As a child I would spend lazy afternoons fully reclined on the back of one of our horses as he grazed in the meadow on my grandparents’ farm. It was peaceful, serene and calming. I sometimes even fell asleep from his gentle breathing and slow movements.

There’s something noble about horses. They see into your soul yet never judge.  Many societies including Celts, Native Americans, Hindus, Buddhists and Greco-Romans, to name a few, assign the attributes of power, grace, beauty, nobility, strength and freedom to the horse. Some ancients believed horses were the bringers of life and death, because they carried souls between the spirit world and the material world.

For me, a horse is freedom. When you’re riding, your body is only connected to the horse. All your cares, concerns and worries are left on the ground while the horse takes you off for relief, relaxation and if you trust him enough, even some fantasy.

Versatile and Beautiful

According to allaboutlemon I am Versatile and Beautiful, and here is my proof:

                           

Thank you so much my dear, I am so honored by the awards.

Some (more) random things about myself,

I was given my first horse when I was only eight months old (I was riding before I could walk)

My ethnic heritage is approximately 50% Irish, 25% Scotch-Irish and 25% German

My brother has 7 children (4 boys and 3 girls-no worries, he and his wife both have great careers and my mom lives next door to them as an almost live in nanny)

I’m a tree hugger in the truest sense of the term and want nothing more than to ‘save the planet’ and have everyone honor ‘mother earth.’

My favorite TV show of all time: The X-Files.

My Favorite musician of all time: Elvis Presley – the Beatles following a close second.

My favorite story ever: a really old short story titled “Hasty Pudding.” Have looked for it for years and can’t find it. Its probably no longer in print.

And my nominees are:

karmic diva   Transformative light    Jenny Keller Ford   Cold Dead Heart  Spilled Cookies   momentum of joy

Honestly, picking bloggers to bestow these awards on was very difficult. All the blogs I follow are amazing and I think we’re forming a life altering community here on WordPress.

Chocopologie

I have been inspired to share this story by allaboutlemon who is asking if we were a flavor, what flavor would we be. I wrote this a few years ago for a writing challenge. I know its really out there, I was just letting my imagination run wild that day.

Slowly, I drape the gold lame across my shoulders, allowing it to fall across my breasts before carefully wrapping my round plump body in the rich intense fabric. I stand for a moment, reveling in the honor of being among the rich and famous. Then I step carefully along the silver runway rolling gracefully toward the glass stairs that lead to the podium which rises as a pedestal above the others. I am breathless as I look at the luxurious surroundings. Never did I dream of being in such a place as this with so many others of equal fame.

Once I reach the top of the stairs I carefully walk across the white satin runway. I arrive at the center, carefully taking my seat to be adored and coveted by all who behold me. Only then do I allow myself to look around, taking in the full panoramic view outside the glass case. How I wish my family and friends could see me, seated in the most prestigious palace, with the banner over my head, proclaiming me to be ‘chocopologie.’

But it hasn’t always been this way. I once hung in a humble forest, surrounded by millions of others just like me. I was cut down in my prime, split open, left for weeks in the sun to ferment. When I neared death’s door, my body baked dry by the equatorial sun, I was thrown onto a roasting pan, turning me colors I didn’t know existed. My poor body cracked open and gutted before being ground into a paste. Praying for death, I endured the atrocities. When I thought I couldn’t go on, beautiful hands began to massage me. Working me through and through, anointing me with wonderful spices.

I momentarily forgot I had been ripped from my home, never to see my family or friends again. The pain of torture slipped from my mind as the hands began shaping and forming me, rolling, kneading, and rolling some more. Finally to be left alone there on that white satiny paper. The loneliness was worse than the torture. No sound, no company, but most of all, I couldn’t move. I remember calling out, hoping someone would here me. Rescue being out of the question, companionship would afford some reprieve from the dreadful nothingness.

I lost track of time. But then I was never very good at measuring time. Where I come from, time just isn’t that important. After awhile I adjusted to my new shape and I began to enjoy my own company. Then one day, the hands returned. Carefully picking me up to…SMELL ME! As if all the previous insults weren’t enough, now I have a nose stuck up my butt, sniffing as if I’m a junk yard dog. Will the travesties never end?

After several long sucking snorts, the hands put me into a soft velvety tray. I glanced over to see several others, just like me. All of us were in a state of shock.  Not sure what to make of the endless assaults to our beings. A light clear cover is placed over us, presumably to protect us from…them, I hope.

I have no idea how long we were caged. After some of the shock wore off we began to make small talk amongst ourselves. I soon learned everyone had endured the same abuse. As you would expect we began to wonder what would become of us and why this had happened. We were all so young and innocent. Yet innocence dies a hard death, now we are mature and worldly.

After an indeterminable time frame, we ended up on a white china plate. Sitting there feeling naked and defenseless, we waited. Then the hands, again picked me up, to…you guessed it…SMELL ME! But, if that wasn’t enough, now I’m being LICKED! Honestly, the monkeys in my old neighborhood had more manners than this creature.

Then, suddenly, all the abuse stopped. I was placed on a soft velvety tray, gold robes placed by my side. This leads me to today, to this place of honor I find myself. Looking back over the hardships I’ve faced, I have to wonder, are the hardships what earned me this place of honor. Could I have made it to this place of prestige, without going through the tough times? I started as just a simple criollo bean and now I’m chocopology, the world’s most expensive chocolate. Only the richest and most discerning palate can appreciate, much less afford me. So, in reviewing my life, I’m sure you want to know, was it worth it? Why don’t you take a little nibble and find out.

 

Home

Each of us has our own emotional definition of the word ‘home.’  For me its the place where I am safe, secure, and able to be myself completely. I’ve lived in numerous houses over the years, I remember in my mid twenties moving five times in four years. When my brother was helping me move that fifth time he told me, ‘the next time you move, I’m out of town that year.” Lucky for him I ended up living in that particular house for sixteen years.  Every place I’ve lived has held a certain element of home for me. The house I live in now with William is home. However, my thinking on this subject is really not so much about physical structures. Its more about emotional security. Growing up, no one moved. My parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, all lived in the same houses so all my memories are based in very specific ways. So too, is my definition of home.

For me the total definition of home is the security of my childhood. I do not often speak much of my childhood because it was so wonderful and I know I am the exception, not the rule. I wish every person could have the childhood I had. However, I know this is not the reality we live in. So for all of you with a less than perfect childhood, please bear with me through the rest of the post.

As some of you have noticed I’ve not posted regularly for the past couple weeks. Well, life has been getting in the way and I’ve had to retreat a little to deal with life while not losing my center of balance. However, my higher self and my spirit guides have shown me through dreams and visions that apparently I’ve not done as good a job as I thought at staying balanced. All the visions and dreams have the theme of the level of trust I have in myself and that I’ve not always completely trusted myself as my own base of security.

The good news is, I’m recovering quickly and should be back in full swing during the coming week. For you see, last night, I came home. During the night I traveled many miles, arriving to my home state of West Virginia. When I pulled in they were in the middle of a snow and ice storm. There was no where to dock my boat because all the rivers and lakes were frozen. So, I left it on the trailer at the marina hitching a ride with an old friend to the bottom of the hill where I grew up. Walking up the hill the ice began melting and the flowers were poking up through the snow. The trees were starting to bud, and I touched each one saying to myself over and over again, “I’m home, I’m home.”  My old neighbors all met me as I walked past each house. My mom was waiting for me at the end of the street. As we walked toward the house I grew up in, she and I joked about a couple of the neighbors. Walking in the front door, there was a fire in the fireplace, and my dog was so excited to see me. I lay on the floor cuddling with him while my mom went to the kitchen to finish the meal she was preparing.

As the old saying goes, ‘there’s no place like home.’

 

Beautiful Blogger Award

First I must thank the academy or in my case Cathy at Large Self

Next I must list 7 random things about myself, so…

I love chocolate, peanut butter and cinnamon individually or in any combination.

I prefer my vegetables raw (unless its corn or green beans) but everything else, raw.

My hair has been every shade from light blonde to very dark brown. I am most comfortable with medium brown or auburn.

I love being outside and if I can’t be outside, I at least want big open windows.

I love the water, especially the ocean and I love being in it, I have been swimming in the deep ocean and had large things bump into me, I have no idea what they were, they didn’t bite me, so I’m good.

When I was in school people thought I was stuck up, the truth is I was just shy and quiet, and this was misinterpreted. I got over it in my 20s and now I’m your typical type A person.

Even though I love the ocean, my best vacations and trips have been in desert areas. Go figure!

Now, I am supposed to nominate other bloggers, however, I want everyone I follow to know they inspire me, give me ideas, and often times comfort me. So please, each of you feel free to post the Beautiful Blogger Award and say I nominated you.

Happy Sunday everyone, I’m off to watch for the eclipse.

Truth

There are numerous definitions for the word, and I’m not insulting anyone’s intelligence by listing any of them. The Truth I’m talking about is our own unique truth. The authentic us, the truth we must own to be fully ourselves.  Many people go through life never finding the rock bottom raw truth of themselves. Which is fine for them. Most of them are perfectly happy and living normal lives with partial truths that get them through their days. Full truth is not for everyone.

However, there are those of us who ‘keep swimming out into life’ looking for a rock to stand on. The rock we’re really looking for is our deep, raw, authentic truth, our purpose, destiny, reason for being here. Part of owning our destiny and purpose is owning the raw truth of our authentic self. It’s not enough to just ‘know’ ourselves, we have to dive to the bottom, feel the pressures of the ‘above’ weighing down on us, we have to face our dark half (and yes, its half), we must smell the bad we are capable of – acknowledge our limitations and where our threshold of temptation lies. Once faced, its up to us to find the leash, our unique way of controlling or containing our threshold of temptation. For me, it’s been similar to the Kraken in Greek Mythology. However, in my version, I’m both Perseus and Zeus, I’m always in control of the Kraken and I find very few reasons he ever be ‘let loose.’

Once faced and we see ourselves ‘authentically, truthfully’ there is nothing left to fear. For all our unique fears are born from our own dark recesses, the negative we are capable of; when we fear anything, we’re actually projecting our own negative capabilities out onto something or someone else. Then we are free to acknowledge our destiny, purpose for being here. To integrate all our authentic truth into a whole person.

This realization, this immersion into raw open sea of life and the truth of our destiny, what we are best at, what we are most able to do in a way no one else can do, brings an indescribable comprehension of ourselves and we finally know peace with ourselves; then peace with ourselves brings peace with others and life in general.

Knocking on Heaven’s Door

William and I have spent the past two plus weeks landscaping our yard, and I must say its starting to look really nice, however, it has a long way to go, the flowers are only now starting to bloom, the roses are budding beautifully, but will better in a couple more weeks.

As promised here are a couple pictures of the patio, when the Four O’Clocks, and Moon Flowers start blooming I will post pictures of those also, for now here is where I’m having coffee in the mornings and wine in the evenings.

And some old time rock for a Friday night, Happy Weekend!

Lonely People

I do not know why, but this song has been stuck in my head for 3 days. Since I am far from lonely and my relationship with William is great right now, I’m thinking this is for someone else. I hope whoever is needing this is comforted by it and I promise your healing is on the way.

Waves in the Ocean

Recently in two blogs I follow Grandfather Sky and life in the blue ridges I found deep and well connected epiphanies. A quote from Barbara Kingsolver says “she kept swimming out into life because she hadn’t yet found a rock to stand on,” and another whose author I don’t know “one does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.”

I myself have spent my entire life swimming out into the vast openness of life. I’ve found rocks and rested on a few, but I didn’t stay for long. Some didn’t support my dreams, some didn’t support my physical health or life in general and some, well, some I just didn’t care for the view. I have allowed myself rest on sailing vessels, knowing I would still not be near a shore and not really knowing or caring where the ship would take me, its just that sometimes sailing is easier than swimming. Yet, I’ve never ended the voyage. At this point in my life, I’ve spent so much time in the open sea of life, I’m no longer just a drop of water, I’m part of life itself. I’ve become one of the waves

We are all searching, sometimes inwardly and sometimes outwardly. What concerns me is, do we really know what we are searching for and why we are searching? Is what we already have so bad? Is there something wrong with where we are or what we’re doing in life? If you answered yes to either or both questions, then I agree, swim out into the deep, get on the ship and sail. However, if you said no to either or both questions or if you even hesitated, then maybe it’s not really another destination, another place or way of being you are searching for. Maybe it’s all about the voyage itself.

Obsessing Over Enlightenment

Do you obsess over enlightenment, raising your vibration and healing your soul? I’ve been guilty of this more than once in my life. However, as I age I find myself reaching that place where I’m so sore and exhausted mentally, emotionally, spiritually and sometimes physically that I catch myself saying, ‘enough, I need to just let it be for awhile.’

This past weekend I was reading a post from Make Believe Boutique titled ‘the threshold between regret & soul light’. In the post she quoted John O’Donahoe. Two sentences resonated with me deeply. The first; ‘soul light found in the old crevices of living in the bones.’  When working the soreness out of our souls, those places where we examine old traumas and work at releasing them – knowing when we finally make peace with them then they will no longer have a hold on us. We dive deep looking for where light of our souls shine through the crevices of ‘old bones.’  However, allowing the old bones of trauma too much attention only gives them power, dead power, power that will ultimately keep us dead with them. I admit we need to make peace with the old bones, but then we must bury, then release them. Too much grief is not healthy.

For the real goal is freedom from the trauma. You will never completely forget it, yet making peace with it dis empowers it. We cannot undo the past, we might never reach a place where the dead bones are gone from our souls, but true enlightenment, actually raising your vibration and really healing your soul is when you leave the dead bones buried and accept that ‘part of the wisdom of spiritual soulful self presence is to be able to let certain parts of your life alone.” Leave the past in the past, you are no longer that person and those old wounds are just old bones.