Happy New Year

Thankfully this weekend marks the end of the biggest holiday season of every year.  Unfortunately, for many the residual stress of the holidays lingers well into January.  I myself usually find that January feels like the longest month of the year. Saying Happy New Year is a subconscious and for some maybe a conscious wish for life to improve.  For all of us to find “New” happiness, peace, money, jobs, fun, adventure, love.  We use it as an internal marker for saying now I’m going to change, fix, let go of, or start working on projects we feel guilty over not already completing.  So here are some tips for starting the New Year on a kinder, gentler note:

1. Plan ahead to make New Year’s Eve safe, calm, and manageable.

2. Throw tradition out the window.  Just because you’ve done it every New Year’s Eve for as long as you can remember, doesn’t mean you have to do it this year, especially if it causes stress for you or anyone else.

3. If you wake up New Year’s Day feeling any regret or guilt; stop yourself.  Look at whatever it is, write it down if it helps you cope with it, then burn the paper.  Apologize to others if the occasion calls for it, then get over it.  Give yourself  a break.  Mistakes are the Universe reminding you “YOU ARE HUMAN!”  And guess what, every other person you know is human too.

4. If you can, rest New Year’s Day.  Do something that soothes your soul.  If it’s; watching tv-fine, reading a book-great, sleeping half or all day-why not, take a walk-even better, rock climbing or sky diving-go for it.  Whatever will give you peace and joy.

5. At the end of the day…it’s just a day.  Just another day like the one before and the one after.  One big step in de-stressing holidays, birthdays, funerals, for some maybe even weddings and family reunions is remember this…no matter what occurs or happens on any specific day – it’s just another day.  And if you are feeling festive, joyful and want to celebrate something, any day can be your own personal holiday.

So, take a deep breath, give yourself a break, give everyone around you a break and then let the days unfold as they will.

If you need someone to talk to contact me at freefullife@gmail.com

Be careful What you wish for

Have you heard this before?  I’ve wished for things over the years, some wishes didn’t come true, some came true and then a few came true in ways I wasn’t expecting. Ive written a couple blogs about my childhood. Now for more recent events.

First let me digress one more time.  Do any of you remember the old television show, The Lone Ranger?  I watched and while the other girls were swooning over the Lone Ranger, I was secretly drooling over Tonto.  It used to make me mad that they portrayed Tonto as not very bright.  Someone was always sneaking up on him and either capturing him or knocking him out.  I was quite sure Native Americans were intelligent, however, I didn’t know about prejudice and stereotyping back then.  So I kept my feelings to myself, guessing the writers of the show weren’t very bright. All the while thinking I would love to have a man like Tonto when I grew up.

Fast forward 35 years, an ex-husband, being a single mom, and becoming a grandmother.  My grown, intelligent, daughter, turned mother herself threatens that if I don’t find a date she will find one for me.  I love her, but I didn’t trust the date I might end up with if she picked him out.  So I joined an online dating site.  I searched through pictures, profiles and messages, becoming very discouraged.  Its still hard to describe exactly what happened.  Obviously I saw a picture, however there was more to it than that.  I sent him a message asking would he like to get to know each other, after e-mails, phone calls and time, I flew 1500 miles to meet him.  After more phone calls, trips and time, I moved 1500 miles to be with him, away from family, friends, my hometown, every thing familiar.  I’m sure by now you’ve guessed, he’s Native American, Extremely intelligent, well educated, Spiritual, and an all around great guy.

My point is…guard the wishes of your heart, hold them sacred, because the Universe and all the Spirits therein are listening and working behind the scenes on your behalf.  And from a more practical perspective, the online dating sites do work.  The problem is they make it look too easy.  They will find you someone with the same moral values, the same level of Spirituality, common interests and hobbies.  However, the relationships still take work.  No relationship is all sunshine and roses.  The healthiest relationships have their strenuous moments.  And finally, no matter how long you are with a partner, spouse, significant other, you have to keep working, keep finding ways to not just maintain the relationship, you have to really work at improving it because there is always a next level.

Coming soon, I’ll do a blog on the levels of relationships.

3 Questions

Back in the day, I was in charge of a youth group in a small Protestant church.  A hand full of wanna be teenage rebels who looked for any reason to be anywhere but church.  Honestly, I didn’t blame them.  The music was slow, ancient and boring.  The sermons didn’t apply to them or at least they didn’t see the relevance.  They were required to wear clothes they wouldn’t have been caught dead in under any other circumstances.  I was the same age as most of their parents and I didn’t want to be there much either.  So, coming up with interesting topics for the youth group meetings on Sunday afternoons was challenging.  All it took was one boring, irrelevant afternoon and they weren’t going to show up again for weeks.  My approach was to try and show them how Christianity related to them as teenagers.  One particularly successful meeting was when I asked them to come up with 3 questions they would ask Jesus if he were standing in front of them.  Stop reading for a few minutes.  Ask yourself what you would ask Jesus or God, Allah, Buddha, Mohammed, Great Creator, or even a long dead relative you haven’t spoken to for awhile. This is not a trick, you are not dead and the answers will stay with you.  So…what 3 questions do you have for the Spirits?  Those kids melted my heart that day.  Their questions were completely human and completely Spiritual at the same time.  Some of the questions were “what is your favorite flavor of ice cream?” “what is you favorite color?” “did you have a dog or other pet growing up?” “what was your favorite game when you were small, and a teenager?”  “were you ever afraid of anything as a kid?”  They showed that what they needed, what I believe all of us need, is to know the Spirits understand and can relate to us from a human perspective.

Everyday Spirituality

Believe it or not this is not something you have to study for years to get right.  True Spirituality is not walking around with your head in the clouds reciting scripture and meditating round the clock.  What it is, is being fully present, in the here and now.  Being completely human.  Christians believe we are created in God’s image.  I’ve heard the argument that this means his thoughts, feelings, ideas, etc.  I personally like the idea of a kind grandfatherly guy with the white beard, long white hair and wrinkled smile.  But to each his own.  Many other religions and spiritual practices depict their Gods and Goddesses with 2 arms, 2 legs, a head, neck, you know…human.  Vedic, Greek and Roman Mythology,  Hindus, Egyptians, and many others all have Spiritual practices which sprang from a foundation of rituals meant to keep the Gods and Goddesses happy, pleased with them or at the very least, not angry.  So, the idea of being fully human?  True spirituality is don’t lie, steal, cheat on your spouse/significant other/domestic partner (I’ll make my point here in another blog), murder, abuse children or animals (I’ll give you my definition of this in another blog too),  basically, just do your best to be a really good person everyday.

So…Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and may the Spirits Bless You.

Babies – pure potentiality

Moms, have you looked in the eyes of your baby and seen or at least sensed the wisdom of the ages?  One of my favorite Christmas songs is “Mary Did You Know?”   Several phrases from the song are…’did you know that your baby boy would save our sons and daughters?’ …’did you know that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?’ …’the lame will leap, the dumb will speak, the dead will live again…’  Wow, what potential for a baby.  Gandhi, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, William Keen (first doctor to successfully remove a brain tumor), Joan of Arc, Charles Drew (physician who developed procedure for separating plasma from whole blood), Florence Nightingale, Marie Curie, John Kennedy, Susan B Anthony, Thomas Edison, Billie Holiday, Alexander Graham Bell, Madonna, Billy Graham, Diana-Princess of Wales, John Lennon (and all the other Beatles) and Elvis Presley, were all once someone’s baby.  I’m not making light of the profound work Jesus still does.  However, I believe the most extreme compliment is emulation; and Jesus did say we are all capable of performing the same acts as He.  Therefore, as we celebrate the birthday of a man who came into the world a homeless baby, yet managed to start a chain reaction throughout the world that is still rolling through the ages, let us recall that he said “Let the little children come to me and forbid them not, for such is the Kingdom of Heaven.”  Celebrate this Christmas Season by looking into the eyes of your babies, your grandbabies, great grandbabies, all children everywhere, and see the pure, limitless potential they all have been endowed with by the Creator to continue the chain reaction that continues to change the world.

The Real Reason for the Season

There are numerous religious and spiritual principles observed in the United States every day; many of them not based in Christianity.  Many of these principles have high holy days which correlate with Christian holy days.  Right now there are many people preparing for celebrations and festivities that have nothing to do with the birth of Jesus.  I’ve studied many different religious and spiritual principles from many other countries and most of them have a foundation of peace, doing good because its the right thing to do, love others, etc.  I’ve spent even more time studying Jesus, not just from a religious/spiritual perspective, but from a historical/anthropological perspective. From all my studies and from deeply personal experiences, my opinion is, Jesus is a very good man.  He loves all people unconditionally.  He believes in, crusaded for and died for social justice for women, children, the sick, the elderly, the disabled and the spiritually lost.  He isn’t just trying to make sure everybody on earth gets into Heaven.  He’s also showing us how important it is to treat each other, all people, of all races, cultures and religious beliefs with unconditional acceptance, respect and love, while still here in this life.  Yes, for many of us, we are celebrating the birth of a savior.  The birth of a man who more than 2000 years after his death, still has a profound affect on millions of people.  But for everyone who is celebrating any Holy day this time of year, it is a celebration of peace, joy, respect and love for other people and life in general.  So, as we all enter into this special season, lets follow the examples of all great teachers and profits, lets stop, look around, commit random acts of kindness, be patient, thoughtful and loving to everyone we cross paths with (this includes driving) and above all else, let LOVE Reign – after all, it is the real reason for the season.

Note:  if you read this far, you noticed I skipped between past and present tense when discussing Jesus.  This is intentional.  My personal belief is he is still as active today in the lives of people who need and want him as he was, when in a human body.

Insights from Meditation

What if all our dreams, desires, wishes, even daily wants, are not something we think up on our own. What if they are actually created by God (Great Spirit, the Universe). What if these longings (dreams, desires, wishes, wants) are created for us because God wants us to have these things and we are conscious of them because they are calling to us. What if by being created for us, they long for us as deeply as we long for them. What if the perceived struggles between us and our longings is only our egos’ fears and insecurities holding us back? What if changing our perspective on life – changed our life.

Does Modern Society still need God

Recently while watching the news my boyfriend and I had a conversation about the fact people really haven’t changed much…ever. People are committing the same crimes and atrocities against themselves and nature that they have always committed. There is still jealousy, anger, prejudice, ignorance, abuse, rape and murder. Sadly, these negative energies have plagued mankind since mankind was created. In college I wrote a paper for an Anthropology class on why the Mesopotamian society needed religion. Basically, life was too much for them and they needed to believe something(s) or someone(s) were in control of all the things they could not. They needed to believe the drought which caused their crops to die, the illness which took the life of their child, or the wild animal which attacked and killed a husband, were caused by an angry God who was punishing them because of some ritual they didn’t perform or some sacrifice they didn’t make. It is thought provoking that even with all the technological advances the human race has made, human nature really hasn’t changed much. People are still afraid. Afraid of animals, weather, natural and man made disasters, space events involving stars, planets, meteors, comets, etc., even other people. So do we still need God? My opinion is yes. We need a more “Spirit”ual relationship with God and all other Spirits in the Universe. The human heart, even those scarred by trauma and abuse, are capable of great sympathy, compassion and love. Fear is what blocks these positive energies. By connecting with and reaching for a relationship with all Spirits, including THE Creator of All, we can release and neutralize FEAR which is the seed of all negative energy. Everything we perceive as “bad”, “wrong”, “negative” is based in and comes from a place of fear. By opening ourselves to God (or whatever name feels comfortable for you), we can live from a place of compassion, understanding and love. I’m willing to bet all life forms will always need God.

Resting

Having recently undergone some life altering events, I am experiencing new and different ways to use my time.  I love the holidays and find myself observing the festivities from a new perspective.  With a new schedule for my time and responsibilities, I am encountering shifts in my energy…all my energy; mental, emotional, spiritual and physical.   There have been days I have been feeling what I first labeled as “lazy.”  But my tendency to over-think everything got me to analyzing the difference between “lazy” and “resting.”   Lazy is an unwillingness to work, being listless and inactive, a slothful, apathetic attitude.  This is not what I have been feeling at all.  Rest is relief, break, recess, quiet, ease and relaxation.  I’m still dealing with responsibilities and normal daily requirements for living.   What I initially perceived as laziness is actually my intuition and internal barometer telling me to rest.  The recent life altering events which were totally out of my control have afforded me the opportunity to rest, to recharge my batteries and re-inspire my heart and soul.   Since I came to this realization, I am not so hard on myself.  Even God rested after creating the earth.  I now see these life changing events as the Universe, God and other spirits who walk with me every day, giving me rest I would not have given myself under any other circumstances and they have also provided me with new paths to walk and new choices to make with the gifts and talents I have to offer.