Relationships

Look on any website for women and a few for men and you’ll find a plethora of must dos and don’t(s) for having a healthy relationship. And for the most part, I agree with many of them; you need common interests, mutual entertainment and relaxation, corresponding intelligence and/or education, agreement with how your money is spent and congruent lifestyles and let’s not forget a healthy intimate component to the relationship.

My dad used to say that a good relationship was 100%, sometimes it was 50-50, other times, it might be 10-90, or 25-75, but to stay together the percentages always had to add up to 100%. I’m sorry, dad, you were wrong. A truly healthy relationship where both people are happy and content, requires the percentages to add up to 200%.

The list above for requirements in a healthy/happy relationship are necessary, but you have two people in the relationship, two people with needs, desires and expectations, so for both people to be fulfilled, they have to both commit to being 100% responsible for the relationship. Each must step up 100% to initiate fun, relaxation, money, day to day routine maintenance of life and initiating intimacy. Let me had here that this does not apply when one of the partners is sick or injured. Injury or illness changes the dynamic of the relationship so taking responsibility changes for both people.

Taking responsibility for the relationship and how you each participate in the relationship insures that all needs, desires and expectations are met and no one is left guessing if the other person is happy, content and satisfied.  Be clear, truthful (obviously in a respectful way) and loving about how you feel and take 100% action for the health of the relationship and you develop a healthy team effort where both people are loved.