Every man and woman has gone through a stage in life where they were obsessively attracted to the “bad” in the opposite sex. It’s normal, in fact, I’d be worried if you said this never happened to you. Moms and dads try to pretend they never had this problem, yet they did, they’re denying it because they are trying to set an example for their kids. Notice I didn’t say a “better example.”
We flirt with danger, we skate on the edge of adrenalin rushes and we intentionally send attraction signals to the bad boys and girls because we are getting in touch with and learning about the dark places in ourselves. Many use the excuse that their life is boring or they may rationalize their behavior as a way to rebel against their parents, teachers, church or society in general. The truth is, they are attracted to the naughty or at least questionable because it validates the naughty in themselves. They are seeing their own dark places in these others.
All societies and cultures past and present have set rules, laws and certain social behaviors expected of it’s population. The reason these rules and laws have been developed is the fact every person since Adam and Eve has a dark place in themselves. A place where at least the idea of bad exists.
Facing our dark places is healthy. And for most of us, once we face the questionable ideas there in the dark, we’ll check them out, play with them for awhile and then release them. Many of us may remain adrenalin junkies which is okay, go sky diving, whitewater rafting, or on a photo safari. As far as the attractiveness of those bad boys and girls? One of three things will happen; you’ll get over it and become attracted to the preppies or the nerds, you’ll stay attracted but you’re family, culture or conscious will convince you to hook up with the preppy or the nerds, or…you’ll find the ‘bad’ look with the really good heart. A word of caution, the bad look with the good heart – comes with a unique set of instructions.