Resist, we all do it from time to time. The problem with resistance is often we are preventing ourselves from attaining, or even living in a better, more fun, easy, entertaining, beautiful way. We are all creatures of habit. We will stay with jobs, homes, relationships, and habits, simply because its easy and familiar.
Many years ago, I worked with and counseled victims of domestic violence. First let me give you a DV 101, domestic violence invades homes regardless of race, religion, sex or socioeconomic status. It will enter a multimillion dollar home at the exact same time its invading a thirty thousand dollar duplex on the other side of town. So, money may be used as an excuse for staying, it’s just not a valid reason. Victims become trapped in a cycle which they honestly don’t want or like. They stay because they are conditioned to it and the conditioning is familiar.
People who have perfectly safe, calm, happy lives will stay with jobs because it’s familiar. They may dread every minute of their existence while at work, yet they resist taking any steps to change because that would involve stepping outside of their comfort zone and into unfamiliar territory.
I have a friend who is living in a house she and her husband both hate. The reasons are really not important. What is important is they have a lot of time and money invested in this house. It will require stepping outside their comfort zone to correct the situation, so they stay in this house because its easier, they’re miserable, but miserable is familiar and easier than taking the steps to change it.
I have another friend who smokes. She wants to quit and has several times over the years. Yet she always reverts back. I have seen this woman smoke while wearing a nicotine patch. Quitting is uncomfortable. It requires she move outside of her comfort zone. She might have whiter teeth, fresher smelling hair and clothes, be rid of yellow fingernails, not to mention her blood pressure would go down, she’d have more energy and be less susceptible to colds, flu, and many other ailments. Giving up those cigarettes means moving into unfamiliar territory. She would actually feel better physically, but the change in her physical health would be strange and different. It would be new and unfamiliar. I’m not picking on her. I know there are thousands of people who are doing the same thing. This is just an extreme example of how we stay with habits because they’re familiar and feel safe.
Any type of change means we are giving up something to allow space for something new. Change means more of the new and unfamiliar. The number one reason lottery winners end up broke again is because they are suddenly in a ‘new’ space. An unfamiliar arena of life and while on the surface it appears safer, easier and happier, deep down on some level their soul is crying from fear and stress because this ‘new’ is so unfamiliar and strange.
New relationships are sometimes difficult. Many people say they want love, but resist taking the steps to find it and make it work. They resist because new people, feelings, situations, means more newness. Gaining more of anything means allowing more newness into your life. This is scary for just about everyone.