Wow, is this a can of worms? So, other than the obvious physical differences, what makes us so different? Oddly, the same hormones which create and maintain the physical differences, also create and maintain the mental/emotional/psychological differences. Yep, for women, its the estrogen and progesterone which give us round hips, small waists, breasts, soft voices, and very little body hair. While at the same time giving us the desire and drive to be nurturing, romantic, passionate and loving towards others.
For men its the testosterone which gives them large bones and body frame, more body hair, deeper voices, and the drive and desire to protect, procreate (I personally think this one is shared between men and women), make money and to kill things (hunting/gathering).
These differing hormones also affect our communication styles to a degree. We women tend to think out loud about opinions, ideas and emotions. Men tend to think quietly to themselves while wondering why we women feel the need to verbalize everything. For the most part, men don’t realize we’re just thinking out loud. They assume we want them to change or fix something, when in truth 99% of the time, we’re just allowing the voices in our heads use of our vocal cords.
So guys, my advice is, try to not be frustrated or impatient with the women in your life when they voice their ideas, opinions and feelings. Most of us will tell you when we want you to fix something.
Ladies, try to be more specific when voicing ideas, opinions and especially feelings. Preface your comments with “I’m not asking you to fix anything, I’m just voicing an observation” or “I’m not asking for advice, just telling you want happened to me today.”
Yeh, I know this isn’t going to fix all the communication problems we have with each other, but it’s a start.
Now, the reason for this post, I realized yesterday my grandson is becoming a man very quickly. When he was very small, perhaps 3 or 4, he asked me why I say “I love you” to him so often? My response was, so you won’t ever forget I love you. To which he replied, “Nonnie, I won’t forget, I remember every day of your life.” AH, how sweet, right?
Fast forward to yesterday (He’s 8 almost 9) we exchanged text messages, here’s how the “conversation” played out:
From Bubby: love you
My reply: I love you too, Happy Easter
Approximately an hour later
From Bubby: ok
Yes, he’s becoming a man quickly.