Most of you know I was raised by very nurturing, loving men. Yes the women were all present and accounted for, but I preferred the men. In my own healing I’ve worked at pinpointing crucial moments in my development, finding the key teachings which have helped me over the years and the ones which have held me back. What I’ve found is important for everyone.
My father was the strong silent type. Tall, dark, brooding, deep voice yet a great sense of humor, kind to everyone whether they deserved it or not. And a closet fear caller. He was afraid of everything. He faced his fears, he never backed down especially when it came to protecting, providing for and loving his family. However, the closet fear he carried presented as being over-protective. Although my brother wasn’t subjected to as much, he has in turn become very much like our dad in how he treats his children.
My maternal grandfather was average in every way. Blonde, blue eyes, athletic, also with a great sense of humor, and not afraid of anything. Ever. He lived with total passionate abandon. He was kind, considerate, but could speak up for himself and never let anyone take advantage of him. Yet it was always in a sweet, almost comical way. I’m sure many people who crossed my grandfather walked away from their encounter not sure what had happened and later realized he had politely put them in their place.
Both men smoked, drank socially, ate whatever they wanted whenever they wanted. For both of them, life was an adventure. The difference is, for dad, the adventure was dark, with possible danger lurking behind every tree and certainly around the next bend in the road. For granddaddy, it was a romantic comedy. Full of dancing, singing, children, animals sunshine, flowers and passion.
What’s the lesson? My dad was 48 years old when he crossed over. He had been sick for a long time, and when he crossed it was sudden and final. My granddad was 77 and crossed on his own terms, taking his time throughout the day making sure we knew where he was going and what he’d be doing when he got there.
I’m sure many factors come into play for both men. And yes I could probably write much more about these men and how they lived. But in the end I believe it would still come down to the fear that was and was not present in each life.
Have a fearless hump day.