I keep seeing an article on Yahoo News titled “I love my husband, but here’s why I want to cheat.” This woman rambles about how her husband is her soul mate. The romantic way they met and how she can tell him anything, but then she goes into some nonsense about meeting someone else and becoming obsessed and finally blames it on avoiding true love??? Really???
I have so many issues with this it is almost laughable. To begin with, I understand that no matter how amazing your relationship is or how open and honest you are with your partner, you can and do still appreciate the physical attractiveness of other people. I look at models, actresses, etc. and can see why men look at them. I once told William to go ahead and look at Faith Hill, I look at her, she is gorgeous. This does not mean I would accept William wanting to cheat with her. Looking does not mean even wanting to touch, or experience, or take home. Just the opposite, appreciate her beauty, but also appreciate mine and the fact I am right here with you through thick and thin, good and bad, better or worse and only touch, experience and make your home with me.
A soul mate is someone who is your best friend and your lover. Someone who accepts your positive and negative, has your best well being at heart, is interested in constantly knowing you, experiencing you through your good and bad and still wants to be only with you. But here’s the kicker, if this person is truly your soul mate, then you accept their good and bad, are constantly interested in knowing them at their deepest level, having their best well being at heart and still only want to be with them.
Also, sex is not love. Love is messy, complicated, multilayered, often requires work, and is even sometimes stressful. Love also induces feelings of comfort, safety, familiarity, passion and romance. Love incorporates elements of friendship and carnality together into a recipe of rapture. Sex is an energy that bonds all these emotions, the good and not so good into a physical expression of the level of commitment required to maintain an enduring union ( i.e. making love or love making).
Sadly, I believe that not everyone finds their true soul mate. Many people find good relationships, even great relationships. They find happiness, and are comfortable. A soul mate is more, so much more. I honestly believe if you think about cheating, are interested in deceiving your partner, or are bored and dissatisfied but do not care enough about your relationship to work on it, then either this person is not your soul mate or you are not emotionally healthy enough (healed from past traumas) or simply still too immature to be with a soul mate.