Posts Tagged With: farming

Comic Relief

I wish I had pictures of this story, but sadly I don’t.  However, it is 100% true, no embellishment or exaggeration.

I don’t blog much about my family mostly because they are either afraid of my gifts or choose to ignore them all together.  But they are all good, honest hard-working country people.  My brother, Matthew is six years younger than I am.  The best way I can describe him is he looks a little like Garth Brooks (definitely that size), and his personality is a cross between Gentle Ben and Big Hoss.  But with a tough side he rarely lets friends and family see (he’s a Federal Officer stationed at the Penitentiary in my home state).  His wife, Pam is both beautiful and highly intelligent (scrub nurse supervisor at the local hospital).  They have seven amazing, bright, beautiful, wonderful children (yes I’m prejudice, I’ve had the honor of being the first person to hold every one of my nieces and nephews at birth, after their parents of course).  This arm of the family has taken the Brady Bunch and met Green Acres in the Appalachian Mountains, and there are many funny stories I could blog, but today’s is the most recent. So as told to me by my mother who witnessed it first hand here is what happened:

Feeding all these children gets expensive even with the good jobs my brother and sister-in-law have.  They have abundant gardens every summer, so they freeze and can vegetables for the winter.  My brother usually buys a beef every fall to freeze for the winter.  In addition, this year he decided to start raising chickens.  My brother’s degree is in Criminal Justice and even though he lives in the country; he knows nothing about chickens.  He talk to a friend and neighbor who came over to help build a very nice coop and fenced area for the chickens.  The first two arrived last week.  The rooster is named Henry and the hen is named Mabel.  All the kids are learning to help clean, feed and care for Henry and Mabel, even the baby boy (okay, he’s 5, but he’s still a baby to me).

Due to my brother and sister-in-law’s work schedules, the teenage girl across the hollow picks the kids up at school on her way home from the high school and they stay with my mom until Matt or Pam come home. On this particular day, Henry and Mabel were either excited to see the kids come home or bored in the chicken yard, because they flew out to greet the kids as they were coming up the drive.  I told you my brother knows nothing about chickens and apparently no one told him you have to clip their wings.  The neighbor girl knows quite a bit about chickens, so she told my mom and the kids they were on their own, she had no intention of being pecked to death if Henry and/or Mabel got mad. She went home.

My mom also knew better than to confront Henry and Mabel, she stood her ground about 100 yards from the coop while the 5, 6, and 8 year olds tried for almost an hour to corral the chickens back into the yard, but they just kept flying out.  Of course, for the kids this was a mixture of funny and frustrating.  They were laughing but the chore quickly became tiresome.  Luckily, my brother came home from work.  Which is what I think is the funniest part of the story.

Picture if you will, a very large, muscular, man wearing a law enforcement uniform (gun and all) chasing one rooster and one hen around an approximately 5 acre lot always just missing them.  Always having them jump, fly, or scoot from his grasp inches from his hands until finally he throws his hands up in despair, walks away telling Henry and Mabel (rather loudly) he hopes the coyotes eat them because he’s done with them. At which time they both fly politely back into the chicken yard and wait for their dinner.

Yes, my sister-in-law helped my brother clip their wings the next day.  Although I understand Henry wasn’t having any of it and his wings may not be clipped enough.  Which tells you something about his personality and my brother’s timidity.

Happy weekend everyone!

Categories: Children, Cultural Diversity, Entertainment, family, farming, Fun, Humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

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